Your body is doing its job - even when it doesn't feel like it.
Your body and brain are designed to detect danger and keep you safe. One of the ways they do this is through the 'fight, flight or freeze' response.
When your brain senses danger, it releases hormones that get your body ready to fight back, run away, or protect itself. This response is helpful in an emergency, but can also be triggered by stress, worry, difficult situations, or strong emotions.
Calming skills, sometimes called grounding exercises, can help us turn down the volume on this response. They can help you feel calmer, more present, and more in control.
Plan ahead
Think about which calming skills work best for you and when you might use them. When our feelings are strong it can be harder to decide what will help.
Practise when you're calm
Using these skills regularly can build your confidence and make it easier to remember them during difficult times.
Find what works for you
Everyone is different. Try all the exercises and choose the ones that feel the most helpful to you.
Be realistic
Calming skills can be powerful tools, but they may not work every time, and that's okay.
Use more than one skill
Using more than one skill can be more effective than relying on just one. It will take time, patience and practice to make it part of your routine.
First things first, check your basic needs
Sometimes feeling stressed, overwhelmed or out of control has a simple cause. Before trying any of the calming skills, take a moment to check in with yourself using HALT
If you're still feeling overwhelmed, try RAIN
RAIN is a simple mindfulness technique that can help you pause, understand what you're feeling and respond with self-compassion.
Finding the right calming skill.
When strong emotions take over, it can be hard to think clearly about what might help. A good place to start is by noticing whether your energy feels too high, too low, or somewhere in between - then you can match a calming skill to how you're feeling right now.
- Energy too high?
Try calming skills that help your body slow down and feel safe
- Breathing exercises
- Self-hug
- Rhythmic movement - try swaying
- Energy too low?
Try calming skills that feel energising and alerting
- Five finger breathing
- Rhythmic movement - try drumming or dance
Sensory grounding exercises
You could also try going for a walk or listening to energising music.
- Any time
Some calming skills that can help you feel more grounded.
- Breathing exercises
- Sensory grounding exercises
- Fist clench
- Notice glimmers
A small library of calming skills.
Try one. Try several. Pick what works for you and combine skills — using more than one can be very effective.
- Mind
Notice glimmers
Glimmers are small moments that make you feel safe… calm… or connected. They’re easy to miss unless we slow down and take notice of them.Noticing them can help us when we are feeling low, worried, anxious or stressed.
These tiny moments can gently shift how you feel. Practice this regularly and let it become part of your daily routine
- Body
- Breathing
Deep breathing
When we feel anxious, our breathing speeds up. This can signal danger to the body, even when we’re safe.
A simple way to calm your system is to focus on your breath… especially breathing out for longer than you breathe in.
You can sit or stand. Breathe in slowly through your nose. Feel your stomach rise. Now breathe out gently through your mouth… letting your stomach fall.
If your stomach is moving more than your chest, you’re doing it right!
- Body
- Movement
Rhythmic movement
Rhythm helps to calm us. It’s something we would naturally do to calm an upset baby. Using rhythmic movements can have the same effect for children and adult.
- Dance.
It doesn’t matter what type of dance, or whether you dance with others or alone. the point is that you move your body with rhythm. Even if it’s tapping your foot to the beat of music. - Drum.
Create a beat with your hands on your body or an object. - Sway.
Allow your body to sway or rock at a pace that feels calming. Use a swing or rocking chair if you have one.
- Body
- Breathing
Breathing with puckered lips
Breathing with puckered lips can help when you are feeling worried or anxious by helping to slow everything down.
Breathe in through your nose for 2 seconds…Now pucker your lips, as if you're blowing through a straw…And breathe out slowly for 4 seconds.
Let the exhale be long and gentle.This longer exhale helps your body relax naturally.
Repeat this breathing exercise until you are feeling more relaxed.
- Body
- Breathing
Box breathing
Box breathing is a simple, structured way to calm your mind and body.
Imagine tracing the shape of a square.
Breathe in… for 4…
Hold… for 4…
Breathe out… for 4…
Hold… for 4…Then repeat.
Keep following the rhythm until you feel your body start to calm.
- Body
- Breathing
Five finger breathing
Five finger breathing is a mindfulness technique that promotes relaxation and reduces feelings of stress and anxiety.
Hold one hand out in front of you, with your fingers spread apart.
With a finger of your other hand, slowly trace up and down from your thumb and up and down each finger.
As you trace up each finger… breathe in…
As you trace down each finger… breathe out.Breathe with your belly, not your chest.
Move slowly…
Let your breathing follow your movement.Keep doing this until you begin to feel more relaxed.
- Body
- Mind
Self-hug
When worry or stress feels too much, a simple self-hug can help your emotions feel more contained and supported.
Wrap one arm under the opposite arm…
And the other hand over your upper arm…Giving yourself a gentle hug.
Pay attention to your body.
Notice the pressure…
The warmth…Allow yourself to settle into the position.
Hopefully you can start to feel supported by your self-hug.
- Body
- Mind
Fist clench
When we feel anxious, our body can hold hidden tension, often without us noticing.
This exercise increases tension through clenching your fists, and then releases this tension. Helping your body to understand what being relaxed actually feels like.
When you do this exercise, notice how you body feels more relaxed.
You can do this exercise as many times as you need.
Refocus through your senses.
When we are feeling overwhelmed or anxious, using our senses can really help as it distracts the nervous system. Everyone can distract their nervous system by focusing on what we see, hear, touch, taste and smell.
- Sight
Focus on something you can see. Notice all the details: colours, shapes, parts that you like or dislike and so on.
- Sound
Listen to all the sounds that you can hear. How many different sounds can you pick out? Be patient, as it may take a few moments for background sounds to become noticeable.
- Smell
Stop and notice every scent around you. Be patient as sometimes it takes us a little time to pick up scents or smell an essential oil, perfume, aftershave, a candle or anything that has a noticeable scent. Breathe it in deeply, focusing hard on the scent.
- Touch
Feel the ground under your feet or the chair beneath you. Notice how it feels to be supported. To notice more, press your feet firmly against the floor or hold tightly onto the chair. Or touch something and focus on how it feels. You can use anything near you. Notice the texture and temperature.
- Taste
Taste something with strong flavour such as lemon or mint. Really focus on the taste and notice while the flavour runs its course.
- 5-4-3-2-1
Uses all five senses
Name five things you see, four you can feel, three you hear, two you can smell, and one good thing about yourself.
- 3-3-3
Same idea, simpler
Name three things you see, pick out three sounds you can hear, and move three different parts of your body.
How we speak to ourselves matters.
The way we speak to ourselves can shape how we cope.
It is important to allow yourself to have feelings, to remind yourself what you are grateful for, and what you can control.
When things feel difficult…It helps to slow down… and choose supportive thoughts.
Your inner voice matters…
Let it be kind.”
I can get through this.
I am not going to be a victim
I need some time to calm myself down.
I have things to be grateful for.
A note of caution
These calming skills can be helpful, but they might not be right for everyone or for every situation .
If using these skills makes you feel more distressed, overwhelmed or uncomfortable, stop using then and seek support from a healthcare professional such as your GP.
Don't try to manage difficult feelings on your own, support is available.