Self-harm

Self-harm is any non-accidental behaviour that causes or can cause harm to a person. Self-harm is when someone hurts themselves on purpose as a way of coping with difficult feelings, painful memories or overwhelming experiences and situations.

Self-harming can feel like the only way to let those feelings out. This is not unusual behaviour, but it is something that can be managed and prevented.

A person who self-harms might not know or understand why they hurt themselves. Self-harming only brings short-term relief and can become a habit that is hard to stop. It is important to know that there is help and support available to those who self-harm.

There are different forms of self-harm and they are not always easy to notice. People who self-harm usually try to keep it a secret from their family and friends. 

If you think a friend or family member is self-harming, look out for the following signs:

• unexplained cuts, bruises or burns on their body;
• keeping themselves fully covered, even in hot weather;
• signs they have been pulling out their hair; 
• changes in eating habits, and any unusual changes to weight;
• signs of alcohol or drug misuse; 
• signs of depression, low mood or loss of interest in things they usually enjoy;
• low self-esteem or self-worth.

It can be upsetting when you think that self-harm is the only way you can cope, but there are other healthy ways you can try to help you cope such as:

• exercising, dancing or listening to music; 
• being with your favourite people or pets;
• spending time in nature;
• watching tv, particularly comedies;
• keeping busy by cleaning and tidying your space;
• journaling, writing your feelings on paper and tearing them up;
• reading a book; 
• practising meditation, mindfulness or breathing techniques; 
• using apps to help you to explore alternatives to self-harm which can be effective and less harmful to practice.

Self-harm can be dangerous and is a sign that there is an underlying problem so it’s important that you recognise you need help and support.

If you have self-harmed or are thinking about it, it is important to know that there are people who can help you and will not judge you. You shouldn’t feel alone.

Getting help starts with talking to someone. Talk to someone about how you are feeling.  It could be a friend or family member you trust, or a teacher, colleague, youth worker or your doctor.

You might find it easier to talk to someone who doesn’t know you. There are confidential services that can help.